As we roll into month two of 2023, I wanted to check in with all of you...how is 2023 treating you so far? How are you feeling? Are you feeling good, positive, strong? Or maybe a bit more hesitant, muddled, tired? Whatever you are feeling, I invite you to really feel it. Sit with it, maybe journal it, or go for a walk with a friend and talk about it. It is so important that we feel our feelings--the good, the bad, and the ugly. Noticing, acknowledging, and allowing our feelings to pass thru us are key to maintaining balanced energy and a high vibration. It takes practice and a feeling of safety in your own body to allow feelings to flow, so go easy on yourself if you find this challenging.
Personally, I spent a good 40 years of my life actively avoiding my feelings. Growing up there wasn't room in my family for emotions outside of my mom and dad's. I spent my childhood observing and reacting to the moods of my parents, never learning to get in touch with my own emotional needs. As I grew up and formed more relationships in my life, I continued this pattern of tuning into to other's needs and ignoring my own, thus becoming a top-notch people pleaser. It wasn't even that I was burying my own feelings, it was that I literally did not know how to access them. I was mirroring those around me, numb to my own wants and needs. It will not surprise you to learn that this lead to heavy drinking throughout my 20's and 30's and chronic busyness as a way to cope. My days were filled working 10 hours in corporate marketing, caring for my family's needs, and socializing/drinking every moment in between.
And my life may have continued in that direction had it not been for my spiritual awakening. And by awakening, I mean severely breaking my left ankle and shin 10 days after turning 40, resulting in reconstructive surgery, weeks of bed rest, and months learning to walk again. This was a very dark time for me both physically and emotionally. For years I was in pain in every sense of the word. I was stuck on my couch with nothing to do but wait to heal.
So that's what I did. I began healing. Both physically and emotionally. I quit my job. I took my very first self-help course called "The Unstoppable Program". I experienced Reiki and crystal healing for the first time. I learned my Enneagram type ("I'm a two", she wrote surprising no one). I went to therapy, learned to meditate, met with a psychic, read books including, "Adult Children of Emotionally Immature Parents" and "The Four Agreements". I quit drinking. I did the work. Little by little, step by step, every day I learned about myself. I uncovered my feelings. I found my voice. I expressed my own needs and wants. And through all that, I discovered Reiki as my calling. It's with Reiki that I continue my healing journey today.
Which bring me back to you all...I'll ask again, how are you feeling?
With a grateful heart,