I Know This Much is True
Updated: Aug 12, 2020
I look at my kids and I’m in awe of their existence. It blows my mind that I created human life. They remind me every single day that miracles are possible.
I’ve had 4 pregnancies. I have 2 children. The losses are devastating and stay with me.
My sister is my foundation in this world. She’s my anchor, my stability, my safe place. I would jump in front of a moving truck to save her life. Literally.
There are a few times in my life when I’ve felt angels guiding me: the night I met my husband, the day I decided to leave home, and the morning I knew I was pregnant. I know the angels are always around, but in those special moments I can truly feel their presence.
Learning to be gentle, forgiving and accepting of myself is the best gift I have ever received.
I see God in nature–the ocean, the forest, the sky, the rain, the sun, the moon, the stars. That’s who I pray to. That’s who listens to me and answers back.
I moved away from home almost 20 years ago. I’ve only recently stopped apologizing for doing it. I moved for me, and me alone. It was the single most terrifying thing I have ever done. No regrets.
I’m a recovering control freak. Since breaking my ankle I’ve had to let go. It was soooooo hard to do at first. But now, I’m leaning in to asking for and receiving help from others.
I think a foreign-exchange program should be mandatory for all humans. Living somewhere completely out of your comfort zone forces you to examine the world, your home country, and yourself in ways that change you forever.
These are the songs I’d like to be played at my funeral:
“That’s what friends are for“, Dionne Warwick
“Good Mother”, Jan Arden
“You’re the best thing that ever happened to me“, Gladys Knight
“Only a Dream”, Mary Chapin Carpenter
I used to exercise as a punishment. Now I tune into my body and move it in ways that make me smile from the inside out.
My husband and I are old souls, linked together for eternity. I had a healer tell me once that he and I have been connected for a very long time…in this life and in many, many past lives. We have always, and will always, find each other. I know this in my soul.
I have the poem, “Desiderata” hung up next to my bed. I read it often. It is my life’s mantra.
It’s easy to see just how small and insignificant we are when standing at the bottom of a million year old canyon, in the middle of Utah. It’s good for us to remember just how small and insignificant we are.
My blue eyes are from my Grandma Hirvo. I thank her often for them. I miss her all the time.
There’s a line in the song “Circle of Life” that haunts me: “From the day we arrive on the planet. And blinking step into the sun. There is more to see than can ever be seen. More to do than can ever be done.” Because I want to do and see it all.